If I Had Words

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Chapter 49      Chapter 51

“Eros, haven’t seen you in a while. What have you been up to?”

Urgh, it was Apollo, God of Pomp and Puffery. 

And he was still wearing those leaves in his hair. 

What a dope. 

“I’m just keeping busy,” Eros replied. “Why, Apollo? Are you bored? I’m sure I could mix things up for you.”

“Oh, no,” Apollo said quickly. “I’m super busy as well. Got so much on my plate, you know, so  —  Oh! Hey! I think I see Hermes over there so, I’ll just — Uh —  Great talking to you, Eros.”

Good. 

Eros was in no mood for stroking people’s egos. 

If this meeting of the gods wasn’t mandatory, Eros would have skipped it entirely —  and indefinitely.

But he really didn’t want to go home either. He didn’t think he could bear watching Psyche’s sisters dominate his home. 

He shivered at the thought of them. 

He surveyed Zeus’s courtyard where many of the gods were still mingling. No official business had started yet. 

He noticed Hades, strolling coldly towards Zeus’s palace. He never engaged in conversation whatsoever, let alone small talk. 

Eros hoped Hades had forgiven him for shooting him with his strongest arrow. His mother had been mad at Persephone’s mother, so she told Eros to get Hades to steal Persephone away. 

Aphrodite really did get him into trouble sometimes. 

Eros seemed to recall everything had worked out in the end. It was during this meeting when Persephone officially rejoined her husband in the Underworld. 

Better to avoid Hades anyway. 

Eros made his way in the opposite direction towards the fountains. It would have been worse to sit down in the great hall before the meeting had actually started. Gods could be so long-winded, it would already be hours sitting. 

As he walked around the gardens, he thought about Psyche. He hoped she was enjoying her time with her sisters. Hopefully she wasn’t letting them take over the palace too much.

“There you are!” 

Eros instinctively turned invisible.

“Mother,” Eros said, reappearing. He hated it when she did that.

“I feel as if you’ve been avoiding me,” Aphrodite said. 

“What makes you say that?” Eros said, trying to sound casual.

“It’s been forever since I’ve seen you. Haven’t you had enough fun?” she said, looking at him from beneath her lashes. 

Aphrodite didn’t want to talk about Psyche. Things had been considerably better since Eros had taken her, but still. She didn’t deserve even a mention. 

Eros felt annoyed at his mother trivializing his relationship with Psyche. 

“Are you in desperate need of something, Mother?” he said, not hiding his annoyance. “Are your temple altars still gathering dust? Do you need me to take care of that too?”

Aphrodite scowled. 

“My altars are fine,” she said, brushing aside his dig at her. “But I could use your help with your father, Eros. He’s in such a mood today.” 

Aphrodite took Eros’s arm and started guiding him to another part of Zeus’s palace. 

He was always in a mood, Eros thought. 

“Well, maybe that’s something you should take care of, don’t you think Mother?” he said.

Eros surprised himself. Usually he never pushed back on any of his mother’s requests. 

Aphrodite didn’t seem to notice.

She sighed. 

“I would, oh, I really would, Eros, except Hephaestus is rather clingy lately and I just don’t think I’ll manage to get away,” Aphrodite said.

“‘Clingy’? Hephaestus is your husband,” Eros said.

Now that Eros was married, he couldn’t help feeling a bit more annoyed at how casually his mother was unfaithful to his stepfather. Hephaestus, God of Fire, was a decent man and never required much of Aphrodite. 

Why did she cast his love aside so easily just to be with his father? 

The God of War was violent and temperamental. 

Aphrodite pursed her lips together. 

“Still. Be a dear and find your father. Soften him up a bit before he ruins the whole gathering,” she said. 

With that Aphrodite left Eros standing at the edge of the crowd of the meeting hall as she went to find Hephaestus. She’d left him by the fountains talking to Athena. 

Eros sighed. He really hated being in the middle. 

Eros found Ares already seated and looking sternly forward. Eros casually sat down and considered how to test the depth of his mood. 

“Horrid things, these meetings,” Eros said.

“Indeed,” Ares said. 

“I heard there’s been another war in Sparta,” Eros said cheerfully.

“A small one. Almost nothing,” Ares said.

Wow. He really was upset.

“What is it with women?” Ares said, suddenly. “Why is it they think they can just do whatever they want? They play with us and tempt us, all the while secretly laughing at our struggle.”

Eros sat listening. He didn’t actually consider answering these rhetorical questions, but now that he was married, he couldn’t help thinking about it in his own context. 

He couldn’t imagine Psyche toying with his affections. 

“I mean, I have done everything your mother has asked of me, given her danger and adventure, and after she’s had her fun,” Ares said gesturing towards an imaginary Aphrodite, “she disappears again and completely cuts me off!” 

Eros made a pensive face and nodded, trying to think of something wise to say.

Nothing came to mind.

“Your mother. Oh, how she likes to tease,” Ares continued. “She’s so beautiful, so passionate. And even if I lose a war, she doesn’t withhold her love from me. If anything, she gives it to me even more.”

Okay, that’s enough.

This was more than Eros wanted to hear.

Time to pour some cold water on the images of his father’s fiery lovemaking.

“Well, it might be difficult for her, juggling the two men in her life. You do recall she’s married,” Eros said.

Ares frowned. 

“And you do know that by pursuing a married woman, you’re bound to run into some difficulties?” Eros said, still trying to douse the flames of passion. “So how can you blame her when she disappears?”

Eros paused, wondering if he had gone too far. If he made Ares too sad and depressed, who knew what might happen. 

His mother would be furious. 

“You know she’ll always come back,” Eros added.

“Of course she does. It’s me she truly loves,” Ares said, catching the balm for his burns. “She would be with me, you know, if she didn’t feel bad about abandoning Hephaestus completely. He’s so repulsive, no other goddess would have him,” 

Out of the whole Pantheon, his mother just had to choose the God of Fire and the God of War for her lovers. 

The ugliest and the most irritable — respectively. 

If Ares could be just a little more understanding, Eros wouldn’t have to have this ridiculous conversation.

Or, if his mother could just pick one and put everyone out of their misery. 

But the Goddess of Love just had to keep spreading it around. 

Eros sighed. 

“Well, at the very least, do your best not to let her emasculate you completely,” Eros said. “If you show all of the other gods how miserable you are, they might think the God of War has lost his touch.”

That should do it. 

Ares straightened.

“She hasn’t really hurt me,” Ares said. “She thinks she’s the only one who can have multiple lovers. She hasn’t the slightest idea of how many–”

And — Eros was done with this conversation. 

“Yes, well, I’m glad you’ve got a handle on things,” Eros said, feeling he’d done a satisfactory job getting Ares to lean towards better behavior. His mother should be well-enough pleased with his efforts. “I’d better go find a seat. The meeting is about to start.”

The meeting wasn’t about to start, but Eros got up anyway to find another seat. 

He couldn’t help looking back over at his father once he’d sat down. He looked better, but he knew how miserable he felt. 

Love could be so brutal. 

He wondered what Psyche would have done to help his father. Would she have validated his feelings? Helped him feel better about himself? Would she have pointed out the contradiction between infidelity and unfair treatment? Honestly, how did his father expect to be treated when he was taking his own brother’s wife as a lover? 

He missed Psyche. 

She would be so much more interesting to talk to than any of these fools. He wondered what she and her sisters were talking about. 

At last, Zeus sat on his throne. Hades had been seated for a while and had been sternly scanning the room. 

At least Hades could keep time. 

With two of the three heads of the Pantheon in their seat, more and more gods moved to be seated. 

Finally Posideon took his seat and they began.

It was the usual business. Reports on the most recent numbers of temple visitors. Aphrodite’s had gone up, which Eros was sure would please his mother.  

They discussed the harvest for the year and whether it would mean feast or famine. Demeter and Persephone were brought in to give an accounting. 

Eros noticed Hades brightened at the sight of Persephone. Persephone gave a beautiful smile in answer.

As Demeter and the Council reviewed the numbers, Eros found himself distracted by Hades and Persephone.

They couldn’t take their eyes off of each other. Eros could feel a depth of love between them. The power of his erotic love which he’d given Hades was clearly there, but some other kinds of love as well. They really cared for each other’s well being. They ached for more than physical connection. 

To be loved like that. To be able to love so openly. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Psyche. Her love was like nothing he’d ever felt.

Eros shook himself and focused back on the meeting.   

Zeus was standing and giving grand closing remarks for the session. 

Zeus really was quite the windbag; completely full of himself. Eros was the only one of the younger gods who even attempted to poke at him. He had shot his uncle a few times and found it an incredibly effective way of bringing him down a notch.

Eros tried not to roll his eyes as Zeus droned on. 

Infidelity seemed to be the only way to truly humble the God of Thunder. He loved his wife Hera and didn’t want to hurt her. Whenever he was unfaithful he felt horrible and would try to make it up to her. Hera’s influence over Zeus softened him and helped him make better decisions. Hera had her own troubles and Zeus was good at balancing her too. 

But it usually didn’t last. 

Zeus preferred to think he ruled alone and once Hera was pacified or his guilt had died down, he would go back to micromanaging everyone. 

So Eros seemed to be the only one capable of keeping him in check. 

Zeus knew it too. He seemed to be just a little bit afraid of Eros. He knew Eros was the cause of some of his trouble. 

Not all, of course. The arrogant King of the Gods sought his own conquests from time to time. Those didn’t have quite the same effect of humbling him. 

Eros watched Zeus and toyed with the idea of giving him another dose of humility. This time he could pick a more repulsive partner. That would add humiliation to his humility. 

Psyche wouldn’t have found any lover repulsive. She would have loved them all. She would have chided him for even identifying a partner as “repulsive.” 

He wondered what Psyche would think of his gifts and how he used them. Would she approve of his methods of forced humility? Playing with people’s affections and bringing them low through the power of love? Would she disapprove of his actions towards Apollo? 

Maybe she would find him to be a monster. Maybe she would be repulsed by how he misused his powers. 

The thought of her disapproval darkened his mood. 

Did she understand how hard it was getting the gods to be good? How hard it was to get them to rule their realms and manage their powers properly?

Did he manage his own powers properly? 

The meeting finally concluded and the gods and goddesses began to separate. There were a few more days of meetings and festivities. 

He wondered if anyone would miss him if he left early.  

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Chapter 49      Chapter 51