If I Had Words

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Chapter 56      Chapter 58

Psyche and Iris walked towards Chloe’s house, still trailing some devoted followers who wanted just a few moments more in Psyche’s presence. 

It felt strange. 

Didn’t they all know she was flawed? Why were they still acting like worshippers? 

Psyche was glad to have Iris leading the way. Eros had mentioned Chloe had moved. She wouldn’t have known where to go. 

As they reached the house, Psyche was impressed. Chloe’s new home was beautiful and somewhat imposing. 

Psyche started to feel nervous. Maybe Chloe had changed along with her house, matching the splendor with an intimidating air.

It had been so long. Would Psyche even know her?

She was glad for Iris. It would have been nearly impossible to approach Chloe’s house alone. 

“Chloe!” Iris called. 

An attendant appeared at the entrance to the house. 

“May I help you?” she said. 

“I have brought Princess Psyche. We are looking for Chloe,” Iris said. 

The attendant immediately brightened, turning almost giddy at the sight of the princess. 

“Right this way,” she said. 

As they followed her through to the courtyard, the attendant frequently turned back to look at Psyche. They reached a certain point and the attendant turned.

“Wait here while I get Mistress Chloe,” she said. 

Iris looked at Psyche and gave an odd smile.

“Apparently it’s Mistress Chloe,” Iris said. “Imagine that.”

“I imagine she’s a great lady of a great house,” Psyche said. “It is only fitting for her station. When was the last time you talked to her?”

“It has been some years, I admit,” Iris said. “It’s been busy at the palace and she’s been busy here.”

“Interesting how we can be so close and still find little time to visit,” Psyche said, absently.

“Princess!!” Chloe said, entering the courtyard with the biggest smile. “I can’t believe you’re here! And in my house!”

Psyche couldn’t hold back a smile. Chloe always had been quite energetic.

“Iris,” Chloe said, giving Iris a hug. “It’s been ages. How have you been? How is your family?”

“We’re doing well,” Iris said. “And I see you’re doing rather well yourself.”

Chloe looked at Psyche.

“None of this would have been possible without the princess,” Chloe said. “She saved our lives!”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Psyche said, embarrassed. Psyche knew she had helped, but she wouldn’t put it in such exaggerated terms. 

“Oh, but you did,” Chloe said, growing serious. “You know you did. We were in the biggest mess we’d ever found ourselves when you gave that necklace to Adonis.”

“What necklace?” Iris said, concerned.

“Oh, how rude of me,” Chloe said. “I’m still learning how to act the part of a lady. Won’t you two please sit down?” 

Chloe dramatically lifted her head and gracefully indicated a sitting area under a small tent. 

“Psyche, would you mind bringing us something to drink?” Chloe said to the attendant who had been lingering nearby.

Hearing her own name used so casually startled Psyche at first. Was Chloe asking her to serve everyone something to drink?? 

No, this was one of the little Psyches who had been blessed with her name. 

Psyche noticed a touch of pride as the girl acknowledged the request with a bow and gave a special smile to her namesake. 

“It’s wonderful having you back,” Chloe said, getting comfortable among the pillows.

“Thank you,” Psyche said as she and Iris found seats as well. 

Iris seemed a bit annoyed about something and she didn’t mind speaking up. 

“Chloe,” Iris said. “I know you and your husband were doing well, but I had no idea you had come into this kind of wealth. What is this?”

“Oh, right!” Chloe said, smiling. “It was all Princess Psyche.”

Iris looked at the princess.

“I didn’t do anything,” Psyche said, playfully looking innocent. 

Chloe and Psyche had already had several conversations about how much Psyche had helped, but she still wasn’t convinced that she should get so much credit.  

“I hope you’ll forgive me, Princess,” Chloe said. “This has been on my mind and heart so much since you left us. I have thanked you over and over again for so many things, I still don’t feel like I have adequately expressed my gratitude. I don’t think that I could ever. 

“Iris, you know Psyche. She taught us so much, she showed us by her example how we could live better.

“Princess, I know you’ve heard this so many times but it’s worth retelling, not just for Iris’s sake. You need to remember who you are. I feel like you need to hear it now more than ever. 

“See, Iris, Psyche gave us a necklace to help us out of a horrible situation. I love Adonis, more than anything. He is a hard worker, but he didn’t always work for the right things. He worked hard talking to people, trying to convince them to agree to some scheme he felt would give everyone a lot of money. He would collect everyone’s investment and put it into his foolish idea. Of course because the investment was only designed to quickly turn a profit, the idea was often an empty hole — completely worthless.

“He kept failing, over and over again. He got more and more desperate, trying everything he could to make up for the losses, trying to make it up to everyone who had lost money because of him. 

“When you gave him the necklace, Princess, he was at the lowest point I’ve ever seen him. He wouldn’t talk to me. He felt so ashamed. I knew how he felt, at least in part, but he wouldn’t let me help him. 

“The things you said that day, he came home changed. He opened up and we talked. We talked long into the night, letting out our worst fears and reassuring each other that we wanted things to get better. We talked extensively about what to do with the necklace. The old Adonis would have used it to quickly pay everyone back and use the remaining amount to elevate our status. The necklace was worth so much we could have immediately bought a better house, among other things. 

“But that’s not what I wanted. I wasn’t sure how to tell him at first, but he was so understanding and willing to listen, I was finally able to just say it. I wanted to build things the right way. You taught me that, Princess. Trying to get ahead without earning it wouldn’t do.”

Chloe looked awkwardly at Iris, worried she still harbored ill feelings about the lies Chloe had spread about her to move up at the palace. 

“But how did you build all of this?” Iris asked, honestly curious and showing no sign of bad feelings. “The last time I remembered your situation, you weren’t doing this well.’

“We worked together,” Chloe said. “We built things slowly. We invested and reinvested until we had built something that would last. We hired people who believed in the same processes and standards we did. We let people go who weren’t doing the work. We’ve had some challenges. A few things we had to try again. But things are running so well now that we finally felt ready for a better house.”

“Chloe,” Psyche said. “What you have built is truly wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said. “I hope you see, though, it really wouldn’t have been possible without you, Princess.” 

Psyche shook her head.

“No,” Chloe said, putting out her hand to stop the objection. “I mean it. Over the years it’s become even clearer to me now. You have helped me in so many ways. You’ve changed how I see the world. You’ve changed how I treat people. Everything has changed because of you. I am so happy, because of you.” 

“Chloe, you are a generous person,” Psyche said. “You built this. You and Adonis have created this success.” 

Chloe smiled and held Psyche’s gaze.

“Princess Psyche, I wanted to be like you,” Chloe said, getting slightly emotional. “I’ve been trying especially hard since you left. We’ve all missed you so much.”

Chloe took a moment to compose herself. 

“Princess, you gave me something to aspire to,” Chloe said. “My humble circumstances taught me to scrape and scramble for whatever I could get. It’s what Adonis was doing. It’s what he thought would help him get ahead.

“I would have stopped at a nicer house and felt satisfied. At least I would have gotten mine. But you taught me that power and influence could be used for so much more. It could inspire others and lift them up too.” 

Iris nodded in agreement. 

“It can be scary to give away what little we have,” Chloe continued. “You helped me be brave and I’ve seen that generosity is rewarded so many times over. Far more than any investment Adonis had tried to pour everyone’s money into.”

The attendant returned with drinks for the women. She smiled as she placed the tray on the table. As she turned to leave, Chloe stopped her. 

“Stay for a moment, Psyche,” Chloe said, indicating a seat for the attendant. 

“The younger generation is different,” Chloe said, turning to the Princess. “They don’t stay working as attendants and lower laborers from generation to generation. It’s just a step. It’s not the destination. They begin working towards their own goals and aspirations right away. Isn’t that right?”

Chloe turned to the young attendant to give her an opportunity to speak. 

The young attendant blushed, having so much attention on her. She looked at Chloe, Iris, and then at Princess Psyche. They all gave her encouraging smiles. 

“Yes,” the attendant said slowly. “I’ve started saving my earnings and have weekly meetings with some of the other youth. We talk about what is needed. We talk about what things we could do to make things better. 

“We also talk about –”

The attendant paused, as if embarrassed by something.

“It’s okay,” Chloe said, encouraging her. 

“We talk about business and income. We talk about needed services and production,” the attendant said. “We also talk about government and collaboration. We all have different talents and skills. We all have something to contribute. It might be that one day –” 

She paused again and looked at the princess. 

Princess Psyche nodded and smiled. 

“One day, maybe, we could select our own leaders. Maybe one day we could have people even take turns leading. Rather than have rulers by birth, those whose temperaments and talents could change from generation to generation, we could provide more stability by choosing the best of us to lead and guide our efforts,” the attendant said. 

She looked again at Princess Psyche, partially mortified that she had spoken against the king and queen. She hoped she hadn’t said anything wrong. 

Princess Psyche smiled. Her sisters had been right. Psyche had been a disruptor. Her efforts to help the villagers see each other’s value was indeed leading them towards another balance, a different way of ruling and keeping order. 

Psyche could sense something greater in what the people were building, though, and she loved it. 

“I think that sounds absolutely wonderful,” Psyche said. “Kings and queens do not rule perfectly. And often they are far removed from what the communities experience. If you could figure out a way to collaborate and work together, the way it seems that you are, you would do very well governing yourselves.” 

Chloe’s attendant gave a sigh of relief.

Chloe smiled and nodded to her, excusing her to go back to her duties. 

“Collaboration and working together only comes when you value one another,” Chloe said. “You taught me that, Princess. When I was younger and foolish, I didn’t understand. You helped me see how we all fit together and that we all have a place.”

“I have to say, Chloe, this is amazing,” Iris said, cutting in. “I would have never thought it possible that a young and jealous attendant like you would have ended up becoming such a powerful force for good in our community.

“If it hadn’t been for Princess Psyche, I never would have thought it possible to forgive you. Now? I can’t imagine what the world would have been like if I hadn’t. Not just with the good things you have done, but for the freedom that forgiveness gave me. 

“I would have become a miserable, horrible person if I hadn’t found a way to forgive.”

“Your forgiveness meant a great deal to me,” Chloe said. “And it’s a reminder that forgiving and allowing people to change is one of the greatest gifts we can give each other.”

Iris and Chloe looked at each other for a moment. Then they both looked at Psyche. 

“We owe you so much, Princess,” Chloe said. “More than words can express.”

Psyche didn’t know what to say. She sat for a moment looking at these two strong and wonderful women making such a difference in the world. It brought her so much joy. And what a surprise that Chloe was helping the rising generation learn and develop in ways which would prepare them for the future. 

Psyche gave a contented smile. 

“And what about you, Psyche?” Chloe said, returning to her vibrant self. “Tell us all about what it’s like being married to a god.”

“Oh,” Psyche said, blushing that news had traveled so fast. “It’s — um — different.” 

“Different how?” Chloe said, still eager. 

“Well, um,” Psyche said, searching for the words. “It’s not quite like here. Everything depends on what you create. You can instantly have anything you want. A palace, fine clothes, anything.”

“Interesting,” Iris said. “So you must have lived in a very fine palace indeed. Likely one far surpassing that of the King and Queen.”

“Well, not entirely,” Psyche said. 

Iris and Chloe looked confused. 

Psyche wasn’t sure how she could explain. 

“I found it more comfortable to live sometimes in a cottage,” Psyche said. 

“Oh, but surely,” Chloe said, laughing. “You don’t belong in a cottage, Princess.” 

“Why not?” Psyche said, finally feeling comfortable to speak her mind. “Why wouldn’t I fit just as well in a cottage. I am no better, no more worthy of a fancy house than anyone else.”

“Oh, but you are,” Iris said. “You aren’t like other royalty whom I don’t believe deserve better than living in one of the out-buildings. But you, Princess. It’s not about deserve. It’s about where you belong. You belong in the finest palace.”

“Surely, I do not,” Psyche said. “Certainly not anymore.” 

“Oh, Princess,” Chloe said. “Why do you feel you belong to something far less than your worth?”

“I have made a horrible mistake,” Psyche said.

“Princess Psyche’s husband wouldn’t let her look at him,” Iris said, filling in. “They had to meet only in the darkness. She never knew his true identity until the night she was removed from his house.”

 “Certainly, you can’t believe your mistake changes your worth,” Chloe said. “Mistakes are inevitable. How we face our mistakes is what brings us farther away or closer to the person we want to be.”

“And if you ask me,” Iris said. “I would say the god Eros made just as much of a mistake trying to keep you in the dark like that. How can he expect you to remain in ignorance of his identity forever?”

Chloe thought for a moment.

“Princess,” Chloe said. “You have to find a way back.”

“A way back?” Psyche said, incredulous. “There is no way back. He lives in a different world; a completely different realm.” 

“Chloe is right,” Iris said. “It was possible for you to get there somehow the first time. You’ve got to find a way back there again.”

“I don’t know,” Psyche said. 

“Think on it,” Chloe said, looking pensive herself. “I’m sure there’s a way.”

Psyche couldn’t help feeling a spark of hope at the idea. 

Go back?

See him again?

Would he even want to see her?

Psyche didn’t know. 

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