If I Had Words

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Chapter 84      Chapter 86

Hades watched as Persephone talked with Psyche. 

He was curious why she was so earnest. 

What did it matter if this mortal’s spirit stayed on the Plain? Hades imagined Persephone would be happy to have the help. His wife had certainly been concerned about the state of the wandering spirits when she had first come to live with him.

Hades studied Psyche as she answered Persephone’s questions. 

What did Persephone see? 

It might not matter anyway. The council would determine this mortal’s fate. It wasn’t up to him, and it wasn’t up to Persephone. 

He had already agreed to resurrect the mortal and allow her to join the trial. They were just waiting for her to agree to come. 

Eventually, Persephone succeeded in persuading Psyche. 

He wondered if Psyche would admit before the council that she wanted to stay in the Underworld. The gods never bothered themselves with the departed spirits and therefore knew little about his realm. Perhaps the rest of the Pantheon would get a chance to hear a different perspective, hearing from one of his subjects directly.  

If Psyche decided to share her true feelings about it.

He shrugged. 

It wasn’t up to him.  

Even so, Hades was feeling less bored with this trial.  

It was time to go. 

Hades took Persephone’s hand and together they stepped closer to Psyche. He immediately transported the three of them back to the council room. 

At their appearance, the room fell silent. 

There were still a few gods and goddesses sparsely scattered and chatting since the council was still in recess. 

All eyes now fell on Hades, Persephone, and Psyche’s spirit. 

Psyche tried to look around the room, shielding her eyes with her hands, but the light of the gods and the room were too bright. She couldn’t see.  

Hades shielded her, allowing her to see better, and slowly guided her to her body. 

Eros’s heart leapt at the sight of Psyche. She was even more beautiful as a spirit.

He watched as Psyche approached her body. She hesitated, drawing back slightly into Hades. 

Psyche looked at her body. 

It looked horrible, colorless and badly marked. 

Hadn’t she been through enough already? Did she really need to go back to such pain and suffering? 

As a spirit she was free from pain. Death was weightless and wonderful. Looking down at her body made her hesitate. 

“It’s alright,” Hades said, trying to reassure her. 

It was oddly pleasant to have a spirit seeking refuge in his shadow. None of the other gods understood Hades’s work, but Psyche instinctively knew he could help her. 

“I — I don’t know that I want to,” Psyche whispered. 

“Psyche, I would usually never say this,” Hades said, warmly, “but it seems you have some unfinished business you need to attend to.” 

Psyche considered her body again. 

Would it be worth it? 

Persephone had mentioned the possibility of goddesshood. To Psyche, it seemed an impossible notion. Why would any of these gods agree to grant her the power afforded a goddess?  

Aphrodite certainly wouldn’t agree. And Aphrodite would certainly put up a fight. 

Psyche was tired. She had accepted her punishment. She had found joy in her failure. There was a happy existence available to her on the Plain. 

“If you want to truly find rest, really know where you belong, the answer lies in front of you,” Hades said.

Could the answers really lie in such a pitiful body? 

“Eros is waiting for you,” Persephone said from behind her. 

Her spirit brightened.  

Eros.

She’d already accepted that she had lost him forever. What if she went through all of this and he was still ripped away from her again? 

Eros watched as Psyche’s spirit leaned into Hades. He wished he could be that close to her. It felt like an eternity since he’d talked to her. 

He was also captivated by how comfortable she was with Hades. He’d never seen anyone stand so close to the God of the Underworld without being filled with complete terror. 

She hovered over her body.

Why did she hesitate? Didn’t she want to be with him? Had she found someone else to love in the Underworld? 

Eros caught sight of Persephone. She had taken a few steps away from Hades and was motioning to him. 

Eros was soon beside Persephone. 

“She needs you,” Persephone whispered.

“She needs me?” Eros whispered back. He had been unable to help her through any of her other ordeals so far. The thought of being able to help her was — hard to describe.

“It’s not easy facing mortality again,” Persephone said. 

“What can I do?” Eros said, wanting to help.

“We are too bright for her spirit to see us. If you stand close to Hades, she’ll be able to hear you,” Persephone said.

“Hello,” said a familiar voice from behind Psyche.

Psyche smiled and her spirit got brighter. 

She does love me, Eros thought, seeing the change in Psyche. 

“You seem to be having trouble,” Eros said.

“I — I failed,” Psyche said. “I keep failing you.” 

“You have never failed me, Psyche,” Eros said.

Psyche started to turn towards him, but he was too bright. She turned back into Hades but her countenance remained as bright as ever. 

“Really??” Psyche said. 

“Really,” Eros said. 

Psyche suddenly didn’t care what anyone else thought. As long as Eros loved her, as long as she hadn’t failed in his eyes, she didn’t care. 

“I’ve missed you, Psyche,” Eros said. “I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anyone. You don’t know how much I –” 

Eros broke off, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed as he considered himself next to Hades. 

“Psyche, would you consider — “ Eros started again. “Would you consider coming back to me?” 

Psyche took a step closer to her body. 

Reuniting with her body meant having a chance to be with Eros. It meant finding out where she belonged. At the worst, she would fail again and end up back in the Underworld. 

At the very best, she would be granted immortality and have a chance to be with Eros forever. 

She could think of nothing she wanted more. 

As she bent down to reunite her spirit with her body she heard Hades say something to Eros. 

“It’s going to hurt. Get ready to help her as she recovers.”

It’s going to — what??? Psyche thought. 

It was too late.

As her spirit combined with her body her mind was immediately crushed by an avalanche of pain. Her body was stiff, her muscles ached, her scratches hurt, her head was throbbing. 

She struggled to cry out, but her lungs wouldn’t respond. Her spirit fought to get her body to wake up. It was moving so slowly — too slowly. Her heart finally began beating. 

Thump —– thump —- th-thump — th-thump

Her heart struggled to pump old, cold blood through withered and dried veins. 

As blood began to flow, she finally got her muscles to respond and she managed to at last take a gasping breath. 

She felt horrible. 

She was so tired and thirsty and hungry. 

She groaned. 

Eros was by her side. He tried to move her, but she cried out. Her body was too sore. 

Everything hurt. 

Eros stepped back feeling helpless as he watched Psyche struggle to reunite her spirit with her body. She looked to be in such pain. 

“How can I help her?” Eros said desperately, to no one in particular. He’d never seen a body resurrect before. 

“Let’s get her to a private room and call Panacea,” Persephone said, moving forward. Hades fell back and called to the attendants to summon the Goddess of Healing. 

Eros picked up Psyche, gritting his teeth against her cries. He couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her. He hoped Panacea wasn’t far. 

As he carried her, Psyche’s body started to relax against him. He felt a small sense of relief. He felt so sorry, so sorry for everything. 

Sorry to have let this happen, sorry to make her go through all of this pain to return to him.  

He resisted the urge to press her closer to him, not wanting to hurt her, but he vowed he would never let anything separate them again. 

Not darkness, not death — and not his mother. 

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