If I Had Words

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Psyche shivered against the morning air. 

It was not yet dawn. 

The palace had received word that the Goddess was ready for Psyche. She would need to be brought to the temple before the sun rose that morning. 

The three sisters had agreed that Psyche would go alone to the temple, but most of the house was awake to say their goodbyes before she left. 

The king and queen stood side-by-side as Psyche hugged them. 

“You were always special,” her mother whispered. 

“You are strong enough, little one,” her father said. 

Psyche turned to her sisters. 

“It’s okay to have help. It’s okay to be wrong,” Cydippe said. 

“Which doesn’t mean you’re always wrong, and that you always need help,” Aglaura said, with a reassuring smile. 

Now that Aglaura wasn’t competing so much, she could see more clearly that Psyche tended to ignore her own strengths.

“You were meant to be with him,” Aglaura said, hoping to give Psyche some courage. “Whatever the future holds, it’s what you were meant to do. Do not fear what lies ahead.”

Psyche hugged her sisters. She would have never imagined how much things would change. They had grown closer and stronger. Psyche no longer felt inferior or inadequate. She loved her sisters and they truly loved her in return. 

Psyche hugged Iris and several of the other palace attendants before entering the chariot. She would have preferred to walk, but the ceremony seemed to give proper formality and better closure to her departure.  

The driver spoke to the horses and the chariot lurched forward. Psyche smiled and put up her hand, saying goodbye to her family for a second time. 

The chariot wheels creaked and the horse clopped along through the deserted town, as Psyche made her way up the winding road to Aphrodite’s temple. 

She decided to calm her nerves by chatting with the driver. 

“Nikolaos,” Psyche said to him. “I’m sorry to get you up so early.”

“It is as the Goddess wills,” Nikolaos said passively. “I am happy to serve.” 

“And how is your family? Is your mother well?” Psyche asked.

“My mother is greatly disturbed,” Nikolaos said.

“Oh really?” Psyche said, surprised by his frankness. 

Psyche had known Nikolaos since he was little.

“What disturbs her?” Psyche said, trying to think. She couldn’t remember if she’d been to visit his mother recently.

“My wife,” Nikolaos said. 

Psyche chuckled.

“In-laws can be difficult,” Psyche said. 

“Indeed,” he said.

“Anything in particular about your wife which disturbs your mother?” Psyche said, still trying to gauge the conversation. 

“My mother is a bit jealous,” Nikolaos said. 

“How long have you been married?” Psyche asked. 

“Not long,” Nikolaos said. 

“It could be that she isn’t used to the fact that you’re married,” Psyche said. “Mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons sometimes. Are you and your mother close?”

“Probably a little too close,” Nikolaos said. 

Psyche subtly glanced at him, trying to understand what he might have meant by that. 

“Maybe she just needs a bit more of your attention as she gets used to the idea that you’re married,” Psyche said. “It can be a hard transition for mothers.” 

“My mother is a particularly difficult woman,” Nikolaos said. 

Nikolaos’s mother had never been difficult that Psyche could remember. Maybe things had changed since she’d been gone?

Something else felt off about Nikolaos.

She tried to see his face by the light of the single torch placed at the front of the chariot.

“Do you need more light?” Nikolaos asked, noticing her attempts to see his face better. 

In an instant, another torch appeared, closer to his face. 

Psyche didn’t need to see his face to know who he was. 

“I would have guessed you’d prefer to travel in total darkness,” Psyche said. 

“I assumed you would hate it,” he said. “I was trying to be thoughtful. Apparently, I didn’t provide enough light with the single torch.” 

Just then Psyche noticed that the chariot passed the footpath to the temple. The driver continued leading the horse up the hill. 

“Where are we going exactly?” she asked. 

“The Goddess has sent a chariot for you,” he said. 

Their chariot wound around the hill and Psyche, indeed, saw another chariot waiting for her in the middle of an open field. 

There was no driver, nor reins for the horse. 

“Of all the silly and petty –” Nikolaos started to say, then he stopped himself. 

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“The chariot!” he said, gesturing. “Just look at it.”

As Psyche stepped off of her parents’ chariot, which was exceptionally fine, Psyche took a closer look at the one waiting for her. 

The simple wood and functional wheels looked fine to her. 

“What’s wrong with it?” Psyche said.  

“She’s had it specially made for you,” he said in frustration. “She wants to make sure you feel inferior.”

He turned to her.

“But you’re not. You’re not inferior in any way,” he said.

He almost took her hand, then he stopped himself.

He shook his head.

“We’ve agreed,” he said, looking at her again. “You would have a chance to prove where you belong. I won’t be able to help you directly, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Eros,” Psyche said, coming closer to him with tears in her eyes, “I’m so sorry. I never should have looked. I never should have lit the lamp. Can you ever forgive me?” 

“You’ve done nothing wrong,” Eros said, changing into his true form. His form glowed slightly in the dim light of early morning. “The question is can you forgive me? I should have never expected you to remain in the dark.” 

“You were protecting me,” Psyche said. “And I ruined it.” 

“No,” he said, as he brought her into his arms. “You haven’t ruined anything.”

He hugged her. 

It felt so good to have his arms around her. 

“Psyche,” he said, pulling away so he could look at her face. “I know I asked you to trust me before. This time, I’m asking you to trust yourself. You must believe you belong with me. You do belong with me. 

“Show her. Show my mother who you really are.”

Psyche tried to smile. She hoped she wouldn’t fail this time. 

“I’ll try,” she said. 

Eros hugged her again before leading her to the chariot. He tried to ignore its shabbiness. 

Psyche may not mind, but he did. 

His mother was being ridiculous!

“I love you, Psyche,” he said, looking up at her as she stepped in and turned to him. “I love you more than anything in this world. I know you can do this.”

He pulled her to him and kissed her. 

They stood like that for a moment until the chariot pulled Psyche up and away from his arms. She watched him get smaller as the chariot passed between their two worlds. 

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