If I Had Words

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Chapter 90      Chapter 92

“She’s choking!” Eros cried, as he watched Aphrodite and Psyche standing suspended in some shared vision.

His mother had taken over Psyche’s mind in an attempt to show her the weight and responsibility of a goddess.

Eros was sure his mother was not trying to be helpful. 

He surged forward as he watched Psyche struggle to breathe. 

“No,” Athena said, putting out a hand to block him. “Step back. We must see what Psyche will do.” 

Psyche struggled to breathe with Aphrodite’s hand against her throat. 

“You are a formidable foe, Psyche,” Aphrodite said. “You have managed to come this far; managed to create enough problems for me to deal with. I should have never sent Eros to do something I should have taken care of myself. You are no match for me. 

“I will crush you.”  

Psyche could feel the goddess’s anger and darkness. Psyche sucked in air as she reminded herself this wasn’t real. It was only the illusion of choking.

“This isn’t the way,” Psyche said, still struggling under the goddess’s weight.

Aphrodite pushed harder against Psyche.

Psyche strained to keep breathing, to keep her mind and body from being crushed. Psyche closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. 

The power and energy is shared.

Eros.

Psyche reached out for him, but he wasn’t there. 

“No one can help you this time, Psyche,” Aphrodite said.

Psyche focused inward, deeper.

I’m letting you lead, but I don’t have to, Eros had said.

Aphrodite had current control of the vision because her will was stronger than Psyche’s. 

It didn’t have to be. 

Psyche opened her eyes and reached out, grabbing Aphrodite’s hand and pulling it from her neck. 

Aphrodite’s eyes widened. 

“Your pain is real and terrible,” Psyche said, pushing against the Goddess’s will. “I understand the weight of the evils of the world. I know you are angry. I know you’ve felt betrayed, but that’s not all the world is.”

Aphrodite tried to push harder against Psyche.

“You are nothing. You are weak,” Aphrodite said. “You couldn’t last with Eros. I knew you would light the lamp. I knew you would open the box. I knew you would fail. You are so predictable. I’ve seen all that you have to offer. It’s not enough. It’s not even close to being enough to defeat the darkness.”

Psyche had already faced her failures numerous times. 

“I did not fail because I’m weak,” Psyche said, increasing her push against the goddess. “There is only one way to defeat the darkness.”

Psyche thought of Persephone and how brilliantly she shone in the receiving hall of the Underworld. If Psyche wanted to help, she would need to shine as brightly. 

Summoning all of her strength, Psyche transformed all of her power into light. With the sudden surge, Aphrodite put up her hand and stepped back. Feeling a momentary weakening in Aphrodite, Psyche reached out and took hold of the vision. 

Aphrodite gasped as she felt Psyche take control.

They stood, surrounded by light. 

“You have been showing me the weight you carry,” Psyche said. “Let me show you what your punishments have taught me.”

Psyche plunged them both into total darkness. 

“The darkness is unsettling,” Psyche said. “We are aware of the evils and imagine that’s all there is. What else could possibly be waiting for us in the dark?”

Psyche lit her little lamp. 

“This is what I started with,” Psyche said. “Just a small amount of light, a slight understanding of the world and what possibilities it held for me. This light was enough to reveal what I already knew waited for me. Even with my limited understanding, I knew Eros was not someone to fear. The dark had been a separation, but it did not hold the terrors I had imagined that first night.

“But that’s not all I learned.” 

Psyche shone the light to reveal a cave.

“This is where I initially thought I belonged,” Psyche said. “I had stolen worshippers. I deserved a horrible punishment.”

Aphrodite looked around the cave, uninterested. 

Psyche brought them to a simple cottage — her cottage — full of beauty and sunshine. 

“Eros tried to teach me the way of the gods and this is what I initially created. This was the extent of the power I thought I deserved,” Psyche said. “And truly, this was enough for me. I have had no grand visions of being a goddess. I just wanted to live a simple life.”

“This suits you.” Aphrodite said, a hint of mocking in her tone. 

Psyche shifted the vision to a beautiful vista overlooking a grand expanse of the world. 

“This is what Eros showed me,” Psyche said. “He gave me a vision of something greater — a vision of my potential. That vision was the beginning of a slow change that has taken place within me.”

The vision shifted again and they stood in Aphrodite’s granary, the dust still settling over the chaos as light streamed in. 

“My first task,” Psyche said. “We cannot change our view of ourselves or of the world while looking at the problems. You’re right. They are too heavy. They cloud our vision giving room for discouragement and doubt. It makes everything look impossible and out of reach.”

Psyche offered an open palm and showed Aphrodite the little ant. 

“We accomplish our task by looking at the solution,” Psyche said. 

Aphrodite looked at the ant with loathing. 

“It’s in the little things,” Psyche said. “The answers we seek are in the things we would otherwise overlook or reject.” 

A sudden puff of flame turned the ant to ash in Psyche’s hand.

Psyche looked at Aphrodite in surprise.

“Little things are easily destroyed,” Aphrodite said. “They are weak. You need real power to defeat what is plaguing the world. You’re not going to do it with your pathetic little ants.”  

The vision faltered slightly. 

Aphrodite gave a smug smile. 

“It’s never enough,” Aphrodite said, stepping towards Psyche and making her step back. “It will never be enough, no matter what you do, no matter how many people you try to help, no matter how many you try to bring to your cause.

“You cannot outpace the darkness.” 

Psyche thought for a moment. 

“You’re right,” Psyche said, bringing them to the landing point beside the fast-flowing river. “We cannot outpace the darkness. Its flow is unrelenting. It’s cold and we do not have the strength to fight against it. 

“But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a way.

“Sorrows can soften us, giving us better understanding. Yes, our sorrows can carry us downstream away from our destination — or — they can help us make our way through to the other side. We can step out of that pain and sorrow with greater understanding and more appreciation for the struggle.”

Psyche took them to the field filled with the dreadful sheep.

“You say little things are weak, but they are the answer to the impossible,” Psyche said. “I was almost devoured when I tried to face the problem directly.”

Psyche pulled a small clump of wool from among the bushes.

“We do not have to face these evils to our own peril,” Psyche said. “We do not have to sacrifice ourselves to the evil in order to complete the task.”

Psyche brought them to the wall along the path to the Underworld. 

“It’s a shift in perspective,” Psyche said. “We will find a way using the light we have, no matter how small it is.” 

Psyche held up the small light-stone. 

“It is not about having great power,” Psyche said. “It’s not about being the fairest, the most pleasurable, or having the most followers to pour offerings over our shrines and altars. 

“If we are to take on the impossible task of turning the tide of what Pandora unleashed, the answer will always be light. Even the smallest light reduces the darkness.”

“Your light is pathetic,” Aphrodite said. “It is the smallest pindrop in the vastness of the darkness we face.”

“That might be,” Psyche said, “but it’s still something.” 

“You dare to preach to me with these visions and answers you think are so profound?” Aphrodite said. “You are worse than the ant, worse than the rocks and dirt along this path. 

“You don’t stay within the sphere of your creation, Psyche. You seek to be a queen when you are a worker. You are not meant to be elevated above what you were born to be. You are a mortal. You are meant to live out the cycle of your life as all of the other mortals do. 

“You’re a disruptor, Psyche. You are disrupting the proper order of things. Only my love and beauty can make it better. Only I can fix the problems we face.”

Psyche closed her eyes again. There had to be a way. There had to be answers to why Aphrodite resisted so hard. What was it? What prevented Aphrodite from accepting what Psyche was offering? 

“Yes, close your eyes, Psyche. Search and search,” Aphrodite jeered. “You think you’ll find anything? You’ll be searching until the end of time for the answers to these problems. I am the only answer.” 

Psyche searched Aphrodite’s soul. She could see her beginning, her marriage, her lovers. 

Psyche suddenly opened her eyes. 

“You are right,” Psyche said. “You are the answer.”

Aphrodite frowned and drew back a little from Psyche. 

“You are the answer to what is ailing the world,” Psyche said. “Your true self.” 

Psyche brought them to a forge. 

“You were able to see the beauty that had been covered by shadows,” Psyche said. “You loved something no one else loved.” 

Aphrodite gasped. 

Hephaestus. 

“You have been trying to face the evil of the world to your own peril,” Psyche said. “You have discarded your love for your husband and replaced it with a loathing of the world. You must reach deep and reclaim your love, reclaim your soul. 

“The world has been suffering because of your corruption.” 

Aphrodite stared at Psyche. 

How dare she.

Aphrodite, without warning, ripped them both out of the vision and back before the council. 

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