The feeling of having Ouranos embrace me was indescribable. Never had I felt more alive or more whole than with his heavens surrounding my earth. I did push us past the limit, making him release some of his heavens. From that flow came our first two children. Okeanos and Tethys were the fresh and life-giving water which circled the earth in a way that was different from the seas. With the moisture of the rain and the fresh water, my earth began to change. I could feel it and it felt wonderful.
I wanted more.
It took little convincing to encourage Ouranos to help me make more rain. He seemed as eager for it as I was. As we produce more rain, things started to grow on the surface and with them came Rheia. She helped my earth grow and change with more intention. Slowly, it was becoming less ugly.
Ouranos had been right. He was not like Khaos. He cared about more than just his elements. His desire for independence transformed into a curious interest in everything. We soon had Koios and Phoebe as a result of our conversations and desire to understand the way things are and the way things could be.
Of course, creating did take time and energy and we found ourselves struggling to understand our children. They tried to help us with our words, but they didn’t always understand us either. The children would get frustrated when we didn’t understand, and I tried my best to make them happy. Ouranos said I should not try so hard. I couldn’t help it.
I became more busy with the new creations and my other children began to feel neglected. Eurybia and Thaumas were especially sensitive to my distractions with these new children and my connection with Ouranos. They didn’t understand that there were things I needed too. They didn’t seem to appreciate that Ouranos kept us all safe from Khaos.
“Do you no longer like Father?” Eurybia asked.
“Pontos is good, but Ouranos is better,” I said.
“Why?”
“Your father is focused on his seas and his things. He does not care about the same things I do, or the things that I need.”
“Oh,” she said, frowning. “So you do not need him anymore?”
“We do not need each other anymore,” I said. “He has what he needs. I need more.”
That seemed to make Eurybia sad.
“Do you no longer like us?” she asked.
“Why would you think I no longer like you?”
“Because you no longer need Pontos. You are with Ouranos now. Maybe you no longer need us. Maybe you no longer like us.”
I felt so confused. How could liking Ouranos change how I felt about the others? I couldn’t understand, but it made me wonder how I could make her happy. I talked with Ouranos and together we created Krios. He took a special interest in Eurybia and she instantly clung to him. Together they would spend hours studying the sky. They talked about things I could not even imagine.
I worked hard with all of my children. We worked to create more and more things so that the earth would be strong and beautiful. With all of the things we did, I found myself more and more exhausted.
When I had built my plain earth, it had taken so much of my energy. I soon learned it was nothing compared to the energy and elements it required to keep up with the ideas and needs of these new creators.
“Do you remember when things were simpler?” I asked Ouranos one evening.
“Yes,” he said. “I hope we never forget.”
And from our desire to remember came Mnemosyne. She thought of interesting ways to retell and remember such moments so we would always remember.
Remembering and creating and beautifying were all so much harder. I struggled to keep up with the many changes. I could feel my body sagging as I poured energy and effort into everything.
And when it became too much, I would search for Ouranos.
My strength. My protector.
He would infuse me with his energy. We would work together to strengthen and recharge. It was wonderful. But more and more often, I found it harder to be with him as I fought to keep up with so many new things.
“What’s wrong?” I said one night when the others had gone.
“Nothing,” he said darkly.
“I can see that something is wrong. Tell me.”
He sighed. “You will not understand.”
“Help me understand,” I said.
He looked down at me, softening.
“You are so beautiful now,” he said. “I just want you. I do not want them.”
“Them?”
“The others,” he said, turning away annoyed. “The ones who take your energy and leave you with less. When they are done, there is not much left for me. I want you to be with me, not with them.”
“I am with you,” I said. “We are together now.”
He groaned.
“I want more,” he said. “I want more of you. I want all of you. I want to give you more. I want you to be so full that you cannot hold it all. You did that for me. I want to do that for you. But it is these others who demand so much. They take and take and leave you with less. I have to fill you with my energy just to bring you back to where you started. I do not want the others to have you. I do not want to share you with them.”
“You want me day and night?” I asked. “I think you would get bored of me.”
“I would not.”
“You would,” I insisted.
He embraced me and I closed my eyes at the sudden pleasure. It felt so wonderful.
“I would never get bored of you,” he said. I melted and sighed against him.
“You win,” I said, smiling. “I could never be bored of you either.”
He began glowing and I looked up at him. He looked especially wonderful and I found myself wishing I could shine as brightly as Hemera.
“You two look lovely together,” a sweet voice said.
“Indeed,” said another. “You two are perfect for each other.”
Ouranos released me and groaned as we faced two new figures before us.
“You see!” he complained. “We can never be alone. We are always creating more things!”
I was surprised at how quickly he was upset by our creations.
“They do look lovely,” I said, trying to see something good to help him feel better. “Let us call this one Theia. I was wishing for someone like her. What should we call the other one?”
Ouranos weakly glanced over at the other being.
“I do not care,” he said, folding himself up in his clouds.
He really was unhappy.
“That is not a very good name,” I teased, hoping that would make him smile. “I am sure you can think of something better than that.”
He looked at me and did not smile.
“Hyperion, Theia, can you give us a moment alone, please?” I said to the new ones.
They left, taking their glorious glow with them.
“I am sorry,” I said to Ouranos in the dark. “I am sorry you are feeling this way. I do not know what to do, but maybe there is something we can figure out together.”
He unfolded himself and began pacing.
“It has to be something predictable,” he said. “I do not like how the others come at any time, at any moment. Sometimes they come and they just start talking.”
“You mean when they come and talk to us? They are just eager to share their ideas or questions.”
“But they start talking when we are talking. They ask questions when we are thinking and talking about something else. It is very difficult to manage their thoughts and questions when we are sorting out our own.”
“They are young. They do not know some things.”
“Do not make excuses for them, Gaia,” he said. “They know very well that we are talking when they come and start talking. And they say things that demonstrate intelligence, and yet they do not know the simple order of talking and not talking. They should know.”
“You think they should know?”
“Yes!” he said with a huff. “It is such a small thing!”
“Even I do not always know when to talk and when not to talk. Maybe it is more difficult for them.”
“We need to establish some kind of understanding,” he said.
“That understanding needs to be fair,” I said, nodding. “Maybe we can make something that is good for them and good for us.”
“I can help,” another voice said.
“Go away!” Ouranos said, reaching for me. “We do not need your help!”
“But I can help you establish order and rules in a way that is fair and just,” she said.
“Themis,” I said. “I know you have just recently come. It would be good for you to explore the earth and see who else might need your help.”
“But they seem to be asleep,” she said.
“You could talk to Nyx.”
“Nyx?” Themis said.
“You’ll find her somewhere in the dark,” I said.
“What is the dark?” she asked.
“You are in it!” Ouranos boomed. “How can you help us if you do not know these simple things? Now go away and leave us alone!”
Themis shrank back and quickly left.
“Was that necessary?” I said. “She has only just formed. She is naturally not going to know.”
“I do not care,” he said, pacing again. “I just want to be with you and no one else.”
“It cannot last,” I said.
He stopped.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Having me all to yourself, always being together and giving no attention to the others? I do not think it can last.”
“It’s true,” another voice said. “At some point those things end so that new things can begin.”
Ouranos glared at the newcomer, then he looked at me, his face set.
“There are too many,” he said, then disappeared.
“What’s wrong with him?” the new voice asked.
“I am sorry, Iapetos. Your father just needs a moment to himself.”
If I Had Words 
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